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The truth is folks...although I am a huge breastfeeding supporter, I did not breast feed my first child. In fact, one of the reasons my business never turns down a breastfeeding organization when asked for a donation is partly because of my personal experience. Here is my story:
Magnolia was born in April 2004 and I was totally thrilled to have my first baby girl. I planned on breastfeeding and thought it would just come natural. At the time I didn't have many friends with kids nor did I think I would need a breastfeeding support group....like I said, I just thought breastfeeding came easy to a new mom. I was so wrong. Magnolia latched on and I experienced such intense pain, it would bring tears to my eyes. Eventually my nipples were bloody and scabby and in more pain than I had ever experienced. Then the fever hit and I was miserable having no idea what was going on (turns out I had a bad case of Mastitis). I told my mom I wanted to stop breastfeeding and she helped me get some formula and get Magnolia on the bottle. I felt completely relieved...until the guilt started setting a few weeks later....I gave up, I failed!
I promised myself I would never give up on breastfeeding again. During my second pregnancy I was in the process of becoming an API Leader and start a chapter in my town. For this process, I was required to do a lot of reading and a lot of the books I chose were breastfeeding books. I read, I researched, I reached out to other moms, and I was determined to make it work this time around.
Once Sienna was born, again I was thrilled and ready to nurse. I got immediate help from some lactation consultants at the hospital and made it clear that I needed someone to visit my room frequently to help me. Unfortunately, one particular consultant told me I was doing great and sent me on my way....I didn't believe her. A few days later I was going through the same situation as I did with Magnolia....but I wasn't going to give up. I visited another lactation consultant, lifted my shirt to show her my beat up nipples, and she just shook her head and said "you poor poor thing". This woman was my savior to say the least! She showed me the proper way to have Sienna latch on, gave me some advice on how to heal my nipples, and sent me on my way feeling confident! I rented a hospital grade pump and pumped/bottle fed alternating with breastfeedings for about 2 weeks until I felt ready to go back to exclusive breastfeeding.
So, there you have it! Not all sunshine and rainbows on the breastfeeding front around here! I am very thankful for all the lactation consultants, La Leche League Leaders, and anyone else out there willing to help out struggling Mamas. Breastfeeding does not always come easy and natural and we need to let new moms know that there is help out there! I couldn't have done it without help!
I only breastfed my three kids for about two months each. It was very painful and I barely had enough milk for them. I wish I would of stuck it out. It's one of my biggest regrets.
ReplyDeleteindeed, no sunshine and rainbows. I was quite surprised at what a challenge it was too. I didn't get sick, like you did, and eventually things did work out with both my girls, but I have to admit there were times when I daydreamed about how easy and painless it would be to just give them some formula....
ReplyDeletethanks for this honesty. I'm sure there's someone out there, who is going through that experience right now, that will be glad to read it.
Really great to read this, to be honest. I didn't breastfeed either of my children because I have extremely sensitive nipples. I wish I would have pumped, but was too afraid to try it.
ReplyDeleteI had the bloody, scabby nipples with my youngest (having bottle-fed my oldest), and the "LC" who came to my hospital room to offer assistance GOT ANGRY AT ME FOR CRYING, TOOK my baby from my arms, and told me she was going to get the burse to give her a bottle because she COULDN'T GO SO LONG WITHOUT FOOD!
ReplyDelete(this was, by the way, on the first day of this child's life)
Now, I know better, but then, I was hopped up on Morphine from a c-section, hysterical because my body wasn't working properly (couldn't nurse) and in excruciating pain.
Thankfully, we resolved our issues on our own, with the help of many breastfeeding books, and it was smooth sailing for the next 14 months. If I had it to do all over, I would have had an Army with me -- my dula, for starters, and anyone who I knew who had breastfed before. NO MORE bottle happy nurses.
the full spectrum of everyone's stories together makes a full picture for us all of *life* :) thanks for sharing and adding to the mix! i am sure it well help and heal many :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's much easier to get advice from someone who's been through the bad experiences. I myself had the bleeding, blistered, thrush, mastitis experience. And, frankly, I managed to pull through as much because we couldn't afford formula at the time as because of the benefits of breastfeeding to her health.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I believe is that every woman should be sent home from the hospital with a decent quality breast pump. I have friends who pumped when the going got tough and eventually returned to breastfeeding. All I had was a useless hand-pumped contraption.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this! I wanted to breastfeed my daughter more than anything. After nursing around the clock for a week, literally every two hours, my milk still hadn't really come in and my daughter was not thriving. It turn out that I have hypoplastic breasts....they look like long tubes and are not normal, and I could not make enough milk. I drove myself insane pumping with a hospital grade pump for 2 months trying to make enough milk, but my results were pitiful, only about 8 ounces per day. Because I was so consumed with trying to make milk, I realized I was missing out on mothering and enjoying my newborn. I finally switched solely to formula.
ReplyDeleteIt took me MONTHS to get over having to buy formula and I didn't even want to bottle feed my child in public (I live in a very progressive community). Anyhow, I found ways to bottle feed that were very similar to nursing and feel that she and I are just as close. I want to hug every person in the world that desperately wanted to nurse but for some reason couldn't make it work. Thank you again for sharing.
Such a great post. The first week or so with my daughter, I hadn't quite the hang of it and I was bruised & chapped. Eventually, after watching some videos and talking to some people, I had it down. With my son however, he had reflux and started to pull back from nursing with me. It was heartbreaking. I started pumping as well, but my milk only lasted for about 6 months. Its definitely a learning experience, and I think different with each child.
ReplyDeleteA HUGE thank you to all of the moms who have posted and commented. I, too, so wanted to breastfeed my little one. While I was in ICU following an emergency c-section, a nurse came in to tell me my baby was hungry so they gave him a bottle of formula in the nursery. It was sheer agony. Then I couldn't breastfeed because I was on medication for high blood pressure. I can't even go into all of the detail here because it's such a long, complicated, infuriating story. Many things will change when we conceive and give birth to Wild Thing 2. However, it is so nice to know I was never alone in my struggles, doubt or fear.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I hear you! It is not all sunshine and rainbows (at first) and many women need to know that this is more normal and more common than we hear about.
ReplyDeleteI had a horrible case of thrush, and the same pain, cracks, and scabs you are talking about. FOR THREE MONTHS. I paid a lot of money to a lactation consultant, my midwife, and also went to LLL meetings. However, it ended up being my doctor who helped me by putting me on an aggressive anti-yeast protocol, including Diflucan and a prescription ointment.
Thanks for sharing this! I was unable to exclusively breastfeed either of my babies due to a thyroid condition that made it impossible to produce enough milk for my little ones. Although I did my absolute best to breastfeed them both, we had to supplement with formula. I had a great lactation consultant to help with latch issues and give me a loooong list of suggestions that ultimately didn't work. It's an emotional subject, and one many mamas feel guilt over.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this Suzy! I had the same experience. I ended up exclusively pumping until my milk ran out two months in. I felt so guilty, especially in those moments where I was not a bottle ahead of her so she had to cry and wait for pumping to be done before she could eat :(.
ReplyDeleteHere's my Truthful Tuesday link:
http://themakingsofeveryday.blogspot.com/2010/06/truthful-tuesday-black-thumb.html
Breastfeeding is, indeed, challenging. And good for you for trying so hard to breastfeed after your first. As a postpartum nurse, I find it really difficult to teach new moms how to nurse. Both mom and the baby are learning a new skill. Lactation consultants and La Lechec League are so valuable. I used both with my first son. Yup, I had bloody nipples and mastitis, as well. But luckily they were all short-lived. Glad to see you're enjoying breastfeeding this time around. It's one of the things I enjoy most about being a mama.
ReplyDeleteoh great post! such a great issue and I bet you make the best support as you have seen both sides!
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing - I posted about soft house building - truthful peep into my day!
I was so happy to come visit you today. I, too, did not breastfeed my first child. I was young and didnt have the knowledge I do now. We can only do the best we can at any given moment. My Truthful Tuesday is up. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you a million times over for sharing this! When my daughter was born, (via c-section), I was all gung ho to breast feed...however, Ruby lost alot of weight at our stay in the hospital, and we left with formula, (to supplement while hopefully we got the breast feeding together)...when we got home I pumped my heart out, but to no avail...the supply simply did not meet the demand of her, (when we did try solely breastfeeding, again, she lost weight and was miserable)...so, we ended up supplementing with formula for her first year. I was devestated, (especially because the community we live in is so "natural" and breastfeeding supportive)...while no one judged me outright, I felt judgement every time I pulled out the bottle, and I spent alot of that year at home.
ReplyDeleteWhen my second daughter was born, I was ready...I started taking fenugreek at my midwives suggestion before the baby was born...I took it in such a high dose that every pore in my body reeked of it, (I smelled like an Indian buffet)! I had another c-section delivery, but I wasn't upset, because I knew I could make the breastfeeding work...after day 3 in the hospital, (while pumping the whole time), we were again given the bottle, (due to extreme dehydration). This time when I returned home, still pumping...with LOTS of help...and good support, we finally came to the conclusion to try Domperidone...(this was after 3 weeks of pumping around the clock, trying to get up my supply). Well...Domperidone was my magic elixer...my supply went up 60%, and although we still used a tiny bit of formula, I did the majority of feeding at breast...this was my greatest success as a mother!
My hope in reading stories like yours, and my own, is that we will start being more compassionate as mothers, and stop the judgement. Thank you for sharing your story!
Compassion to mothers everywhere!!!!
xo maureen